I don’t like writing.
But I love having written.
This candid quote by Dorothy Parker describes me well. First drafts suck, mine in particular. It’s no wonder I’m consumed with trepidation at the thought of another journey into the barren landscape and soulless void of the new story.
Finding inspiration is difficult, especially knowing the initial drivel will require intensive repair, realignment and restructuring. And that’s only if the first draft survives the shit pile. It often does not. A mere paragraph is enough to incite a sudden pause, a deliberate lowering of the head into the hands, followed by the obligatory sigh of despair. Right click, highlight, delete. What else have I got?
But alas, so bends the path of the aspiring writer. First drafts contain the kernel, the seed. Subsequent revisions nurture that tiny creative concoction into either a towering oak, flowering bush, or a bent twig. The outcome is not guaranteed. The process, while different for everyone, languishes in a unique transcendental microcosm, a murky mixture of aspiration, discipline, external stimuli, and retrospection. We all have our demons, challenges, our enablers. We have our crutches, vices, excuses. Some more than others, outflanking the competition, true champions in the realm of extinguished desire.
Motivation dissipates; often non-existent. Stagnancy becomes resolute. In an instant, first drafts evolve into the epic internal struggle, a cerebral joust between mental preparedness, drive, and want.
I want to have written, but I don’t want to write.
The quintessential conundrum of wandering wordsmiths.
And yet here I sit, creatively flat-lined, inspirationally challenged.
I don’t like writing.
But it’s good to have written.
Until next time,
Most people feel that way about learning, too – what we like is knowing. Methinks you might be a bit hard on yourself, however. This post was beautifully written.
xx,
mgh
(Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
– ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
“It takes a village to educate a world!”
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Thanks Madelyn! I find I keep gravitating towards writing about not writing for some reason. Eventually that well will dry up, I’m sure. Cheers for commenting!
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Probably because your subconscious is trying to figure it out. Whatever it takes to jump start the process, right?
xx, mgh
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Absolutely! The hardest part is getting my butt in the chair. Thanks for commenting Madelyn!
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Exactly that! AND you’ve captured it beautifully ✍️️
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Thanks so much Lizzie! This post was more of a therapeutic attempt at jumpstarting my lazy self. I was a day away from posting and had nothing, this eventually came out. Thanks for commenting!
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But look, it is good, you have written [something]. Someone *cough “me”* is only commenting not writing. 🙂
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Thanks Anne! I had a busy week at work, and my two previous topics I tossed in the sh#t pile, so come Friday, I had nothing for my Saturday post. Down to the wire, but I managed to eek something out. Cheers for commenting!
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My pleasure. 😊 And I did enjoy reading it. Have a splendid Sunday.
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I did, hope you did also! Today is Canadian Thanksgiving, so another day of relaxation!
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Oh fantastic! Happy Thanksgiving! 😊
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Thank you Anne!
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Oh, I definitely can relate to this! I feel a lot like this when I start to write an article, but, everything usually flow faster and easier after four or fives sentences and then I write down the whole thing in one-shot, like releasing a huge, relived sigh.
But once it’s written, and published and just… there, that I like much better! ^^
Nice to know I’m not the only one!
Have a good day Mike!
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Thanks, I love hearing that I’m not the only lost soul! Despite my rants, I occasionally read over some older material and think, ‘that’s not crap’. It’s just when I’m in the thick of it, I get frustrated easily. Cheers, and thanks for commenting!
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You’re always welcome! Thank you for sharing!
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Ha! I thought it was just me. I agonize over my writing. Then I will find something I’ve written in the past and think “that’s not too bad, maybe I should try again”. It ever gets easier…for me anyway. I am sticking to reading.
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While I like to gripe about it, it really comes down to procrastination, of which I am a champion. Glad to know I’m not alone though. Thanks for commenting!
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And I am opposite. I have so many ideas (for fiction, though, not blogs) that I can sit for hours and just let it flow. In fact, I can’t type fast enough! However when I re-read it and then have to fix the jumble of nonsense that came out of me … that’s where I lose the inspiration. I want it to be good enough the first time around, but alas I am no Literary Genius. Thanks for sharing your struggle, I really hope you choose to write a story one day. I think you have the knack for it!
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Thanks Theresa. Seems like I can write a lot about the negative side of writing, at some point I will have to switch gears. Not quite there yet though. This last week was busy, hopefully I’ll have more time for next Saturday’s post. Then again, I’m off to Florida in a few days, I may to dust something off from the archives. We’ll see. Thanks for the kind words!
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I find that I hate doing the dishes, except when I have a writing deadline and then magically I can seem to do nothing but dishes and all those dreadful household chores. The mind is a strange thing. Glad to see I’m not alone ^_^
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Yesterday I cleaned out and rearranged my sock drawer. No word of a lie. It is nice to know we’re not alone out there! Cheers!
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Sometimes I too feel the same ..
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We’re all not that different, regardless of where we call home. Thanks for commenting!
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Great post
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Thank you!
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I did enjoy reading about your struggles as a writer. You are not alone. 😌
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Thank you Lorraine, always nice to know I’m in good company. Cheers for the FB follow also!
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Good stuff, Mike. Especially for a don’t-liker.
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Thanks Mitch, much appreciated!
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Why do people use difficult words to express their thoughts?
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I think some try hard to find their voice, be unique. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Although I don’t fully agree with him, Stephen King once said, if you have to go to the thesaurus to find the right word, it’s not the right word. Cheers!
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My creative brick wall is something different. It’s the long struggle to improve my English sufficiently, to fully put into words the passions I feel. With the starting point of being a chef, eloquence and correct grammer
were not a prerequisite. I needed the different disciplines: organisational skills, mental dexterity,cooking skills, brute strength, fortitude to endure long days and stupidity to do it again and again at the sacrifice of my private life and even my health….but finding something to say was always easy.
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I always admire the discipline that successful people possess. Many people think it’s luck or privilege, but more often than not, it’s hard work and determination that get people to where they want to be. Sounds like you’ve earned your dues. I appreciate the feedback and comment. Cheers!
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Reblogged this on Senczyszak.com and commented:
Originally posted October, 2016.
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very good post and you shared up your experience very well and i too feel the same way about writing too.
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Thank you! Much appreciated!
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