(Don’t) Send in the Clowns

coulrophobiaThe Dow Jones Clown Commodity index has crashed.  The legitimate, child-loving, flower-squirting entertainers are facing layoffs, unemployment, and a speculative future.

Why?

The creepy clown sighting phenomenon, known by some as killer clowns, continues to amass popularity across the continental United States, Canada, the UK, and beyond.  Globally, professional clowns feel increasingly threatened by these devious, ill-willed impersonators, who are at once reckless, fearless, and impervious to threats of imprisonment, violence, or de-masking.

Locally, in Nova Scotia Canada, 61-year old professional clown, Miles Leahy, who goes by the name Milo T. Clown, has been in the business for 32 years.  As vice president of ‘Clowns Canada’ (Canadian Clown Association), Bozo, I mean Milo, is heartbroken by the recent rash of creepy clown sightings, and fears the worst for professional clowns across the world;

“People have to remember these are not clowns.  These are people dressed up in a clown costume who enjoy the power of being able to terrorize people.”

And he’s not alone.

Randy Christensen, president of the ‘World Clown Association’, has stated publicly that their clientele have experienced increased stigma, and a significant decline in bookings.

“The people dressing up are trying to scare people, no professional clown would ever take part in anything like that.”

Just what’s going on here?

Anti-social exuberance, domestic terrorism, or just pent up frustration for despisers of balloon animals and comically large feet?

Or is there something more sinister afoot?

pennywise-sewerSome attribute the phenomenon to a marketing campaign geared at promoting the film remake of Stephen King’s 1986 Novel ‘IT’, currently being filmed in Toronto.  Remember Pennywise the creepy sewer clown?  Who can forget Tim Curry as the insidious pale-faced ghoul, a character almost as frightening as Frank N. Furter from the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  I shudder just thinking about it.

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The producers of ‘IT’ have denied any culpability.  Stephen King himself took to Twitter in an effort to quell the hysteria, and disassociate his involvement;

stephen_king_twitter

Pardon me Mr. King, but wasn’t IT you who created arguably the creepiest killer clown ever conceived? Also, did you not once remark: “I try to create sympathy for my characters, then turn the monsters loose.”

The monsters are loose Mr. King.  Too late for absolution.

Whatever the reason, whatever the rationale, one must agree it takes a special kind of deviant to don a hideous costume, select a local park or playground, and ply their insidious trade on children, despite threats of bodily harm, incarceration, or worse.  To date there have been multiple reported incidents of citizen-on-clown violence, including at least one shooting, but the provocations continue.

Then again, I don’t recall any such sightings in Texas.

Why is that I wonder?

Perhaps vigilantism is the short term answer.  If a few of the goods ones, say Chuckles, Bobo or Happy the Clown, take to the streets to remind us of the benevolent, charming (less creepy) side of clowns, our irrational fears may be quelled.  And should a street confrontation occur between rivals, some clown-on-clown violence may just be the ticket to deter the creepiest of the creeps.  Let the Tammy Faye Bakker lookalikes fight it out.  Winner take all.

Law enforcement is taking notice.  Southern California is taking no chances and has banned clown costumes this upcoming Halloween.  Even Ronald McDonald is taking an unpaid leave of absence, opting to disassociate himself from the golden arches until the glitter settles.  Word is the Hamburgler is coming out of retirement to fill the temporary void.

I’ve also heard the NRA is looking to regain stature by weighing in on the crisis.  Rumor has it they’re in deliberations to create a publicity advertisement featuring a buffed Charleton Heston squaring off against a Krusty the Clown/Michael Moore lookalike.  That might just work.

At least one prominent professor of Socialism has said “2016 is a bad time to be a professional clown’.

No shit.

Whatever the end game, I surmise a career in clowning has moved up a notch in the ranking of the world’s most dangerous professions, closing in fast on Arctic Lobster fishing and Ice-road Truckers.

I predict a new reality series on the horizon.

But I digress.

Now might be a good time for legitimate clowns to reassess their career choice, branch out, or at least renegotiate their life insurance policies.

I say this in all seriousness, no clowning around.

Until next time,

 

 

24 thoughts on “(Don’t) Send in the Clowns

    • I never disliked or feared clowns, but I was never a fan. Something about them triggered a cautionary response, even as a child. Thanks so much for commenting, I’m glad to know my perspective is not completley off kilter. Cheers!

      Liked by 2 people

  1. IT is one my brother’s favorite movie. I myself never like clowns way before I realized that social’s culture associated them with every creepy stuffs there is. I just did not like the nose, the make up, the hair… as a child it never made me laught, it was always cringe worthy.
    It’s very sad to see how far some people have taken this anti-clowns thing though. I’ve vaguely heard it on the news, but I must admit, you’re article is kind of a shock. No matter my dislike for the character itself, how can people be so blind to forget the guy or lady underneath the costume? Of to assume that every clowns is a creep or a killer? Gosh.

    Nice piece, Thank you for sharing, as always!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. The kids in my daughter’s school are going mad about this. The head teacher has threatened anybody who even mentions the word ‘clown’. The phenomenon hasn’t even touched my part of England, but everybody is going crazy anyway!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Reblogged this on Belle Papillon 24/7 and commented:
    I was thinking of writing about this coz my youngest daughter, who is actually 18 already is so terrified that she doesn’t want to be left alone at home. I can just imagine how the little kids feel.
    I have an alarm system and the works but she is just so scared. She told me there’s recent sightings around my neighborhood.
    This is crazy! It’s out of control!

    I’m not surprised they don’t have it in Texas. They’re not crazy enough to take a risk of getting shot.

    Thanks for sharing, Mike.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Pingback: Clowns And qldjob Electrical Fitter Mechanic | Job List Australia

  5. Okay – this one got you a well-earned follow! How do you manage to focus on your reporting with your tongue so firmly in your cheek?

    btw- why not in Texas? An un-named source tells me that the clowns there are undercover – in disguise as politicians. JUST in time for Halloween, too.
    xx,
    mgh
    (Madelyn Griffith-Haynie – ADDandSoMuchMore dot com)
    – ADD Coach Training Field founder; ADD Coaching co-founder –
    “It takes a village to educate a world!”

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Resisting the urge to add to the puns already here it’s hard to imagine being in a once enjoyed (if not respected) profession now facing a choice of either unemployment or possible threats of violence.
    I’m sure, knowing America, that sooner rather than later a real Clown will get shot and perhaps killed.

    If for example lawyers or doctors faced the same stark choices, then people would perhaps view the situation that Clowns now face more seriously and with more sympathy. I’m old enough to remember the time as a child when Clowns were well thought of and cherished. But with the ever so slow demise of the circus, clowns have been marginalised to children’s parties, no longer thought of as performing artists but instead viewed as a job you did until something better came along.

    Then Stephen King’s film “It” came along and other movies latched onto the idea that Clowns were indeed scary, rather than funny. And quite frankly the scariest thing to me is Stephen himself when he attempts to smile, it looks genuinely maniacal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Brilliant! I am a big Stephen King fan, and he can be quite scary looking at times. I never actually understood the whole phobia surrounding clowns, I think I first became aware of it was watching Seinfeld (Kramer was afraid of clowns). I think in some respects, due to the faster sophistication of children (sometimes attributed to slack parenting, 24/7 access to tv & internet, etc), the age of simple, face-t0-face entertainment is going the way of the dinosaur – evolution, and not necessarily in a good way. Traditional clowns unfortunately, received the added misfortune of being associated with the movie ‘IT’, and their decline may be inevitable.
      But then again, headlines fade and something new is there to replace them in no time, so who knows?
      I appreciate your comment, it made me think, something I need to do more of! Cheers!

      Like

  7. Pingback: (Don’t) Send in the Clowns – Belle Papillon 24/7

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