We’re all familiar with the phrase ‘kicking the bucket’, a euphemism, presumably derived during an era where staging one’s own demise was accomplished by standing on a bucket, securing a noose, and kicking away. Goodbye cruel world.
And to the credit of modern society, we’ve managed to travel further down the morbid path of introspection by altering, for the sake of brevity and hapless wit, an already grim concept.
The fact that this expression is so widely overused is in itself an irritant of significant proportions. I can no longer acknowledge the term, nor can I feign the slightest bit of interest when the topic is broached. Monotony, repetition, pie-in-the-sky generalities have combined to successfully dilute the concept into another bland cliché that’s lost all meaning and significance.
“That’s going on my bucket list.”
Fantastic, but I’m not interested.
Regardless if it’s paragliding in Costa Rica, retracing Frodo and Sam’s steps in New Zealand, Super Bowl tickets, or running with the bulls, it doesn’t matter. We all have our passions, dreams, unfulfilled desires, it’s a natural part of the human experience. Our time on earth is finite. Bucket Lists, especially the over-the-top, borderline psychotic ones, are unnecessary. Accomplish your goals now and move forward. Don’t speak of ‘one day’, no one wants to hear about ‘one day’, one day never comes. The future is a question mark. We can hope, predict, pray, but in the end, fate wins.
I urge all closet-adventurers, before considering enlightening others with your wonderful aspirations, pause a moment, take a deep breath, and, in the words of Doctor Evil;
Buckets aren’t for kicking.
Buckets are a receptacle.
They carry life-giving water, occasionally fried chicken, and horse shit.
What’s in your bucket?
To commemorate my dislike for the colloquialism, and, just in case my subtle disdain did not shine through earlier, I provide you with my abbreviated Empty Bucket List.
Five things I do not want to experience, before I leave this planet.
Wayne Newton in Vegas
Swimming in the Ganges River
Until next time,