Retro Writing

sewer_serpentAs I continue along the path of discovery, clinging to the belief that I may yet define a niche or direction for my Blog, I find myself questioning every thought, every ambivalent nugget of inspiration, each solitary idea.  And as topics come and go, sentences and paragraphs crafted and abruptly deleted, I’m reminded of similar struggles, and how I’ve overcome the challenges week in, week out.  At some point in the process, as always, I pause and ask myself the poignant question;

What’s on tap this week?

A smattering of retro.

The excerpt below is a postscript to a children’s story I wrote several years ago.  The tale revolves around a young boy, bullied at school, who befriends an unusual and unlikely ally.  I won’t spoil the end for you, sufficed to say, someone does get eaten.  For anyone interested, you’ll find a link to the digital booklet at the end of the post.

Thanks for reading.

Author’s Notesewer serpent (3)

I must clarify that although I’ve never seen one,  I have it on the greatest authority that sewer serpents do exist.  They do not eat children however, and to my knowledge, there have been only three confirmed cases of public works employees being eaten. Sewer serpents eat mostly rats and the occasional alligator. But be forewarned, should you ever come across an open sewer grate, or perhaps a city crew digging a great hole in the middle of the road, be wary, for a hungry serpent may be lurking within. Standard practice dictates that a 5-person crew is required at any road excavation site.  We have all seen them.  One worker, usually the most fearless, stands within grasping distance of the excavation, working feverishly, while the others stand nearby, seemingly doing nothing.  Do not be fooled however, for aside from malingering, the others have a function of great importance.  They are the lookouts, the eyes and ears of the poor sought who flirts with death.  Policy guidelines dictate that for every employee actually working on a site, a minimum of four others must be present to guard against serpent attack.  You will not read this in any safety manual my friends, but it is an unspoken truth in matters of sanitation and sewer safety.

So the next time you happen upon a great hole in the middle of the road, count how many workers are present and understand why it takes five to do the work of one.  To that end, know that sewer serpents are taken very seriously to this day.
© 2008 


24 thoughts on “Retro Writing

    1. Thank you Theresa, your comment was uplifting I wanted to wait until noon before I replied, just in case there was an element of April Fools involved. Cheers, and thanks also for reference. I technically self published this story a while back, not that I garnered much interest, but I definitely will check out ripple grove. As always, I appreciate your feedback and support!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hello Mike, I’m going to pass your link on to my nephew. He is ten years old and loves to write his own stories plus draw his own cartoons. I think he will enjoy this story. He is away on spring break right now. After he reads it I’ll see if I can get some feedback from him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awesome, thank you John. This was written during my ‘children’s book era’ along with a few other tales in my crypt. It’s fun to occasionally pull some material from the archives, but difficult not to want to edit the hell out of it. Cheers!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m glad you did. I think my nephew AJ will love it. Apparently the composition book I gave him from his last sleep over is filled with his stories and cartoons. We have the same interests, so I guess he listened to his uncle Johnny. AJ’s school teacher took notice of his new found passion. His interest rubbed off on the class, now they all have comp books. Lol. 🙂


  2. Excellent, Mike! I felt like it was a children’s story written by Stephen King. Twisted, delightful read. It kept my interest. Probably closer to RL Stine. You should do something with this one. Although you don’t seem to see it, you are a writer.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Susan. I enjoyed my stint writing for kids, even though I never became the next great Canadian children’s writer (Robert Munsch was my initial inspiration). Not time wasted though, I think we learn and grow the more we diversify. At least that’s what I tell myself. Cheers, I always look forward to your input!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Sounds interesting and scary. I have an unreasonable fear of snakes but I can probably give it my best shot to fight a serpent that’s actually a person so I have to think about this… Are you referring to a reptile or a person? My guess is reptile… I’ll have to think.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Love the story. It’s like one of those kids story that crosses over perfectly to adults. I have a friend who works in drainage, I’m going to ask him if he’s seen anything strange in the depths below our streets.

    Liked by 1 person

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