If the Women Don’t Find You Handsome

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There are a few DIY tasks around the home I can handle, a few I can’t.  I’m a seasoned painter, when I want to be, despite the fact that most every room in our house is overdue for a makeover.  I can tackle minor plumbing jobs; replace a tap or a toilet, even though my wife takes issue with the fact I repaired a leaking shower nozzle with a wine cork.  Don’t laugh, it worked.  In-wall repairs are beyond my expertise level, so until I get around to calling a plumber, problem solved. Of course in the interim, the shower is out of commission, but at least the tub’s still functional.

Years back I installed our dishwasher, although I won’t ever do so again.  The struggle to connect the water line in such an incredibly tight space, and not kink it, prompted a proliferation of profanities that mirrored the Old Man’s battle with his furnace, in the film ‘A Christmas Story’.  To my credit, the machine worked flawlessly, not a leak in seven years. But as appliances age, problems arise, and a burned out heating element and cracked upper tray, prompted the need for a replacement.  And last month when my wife advised she’d decided on a new high-end Bosch, I handed her $150 cash, the cost of installation.  A small price to pay for two hours of hell, averted.

Ceiling fans.

I’ve installed four, but don’t get me started on the flush-mount models.  Remember the issue with the dishwasher?  Confined space and inadequate instructions equals profanity-ridden tirades, projectile screwdrivers, and cocktails at 10 a.m.

My drywall skills are questionable, according to a few critics.  I’ve completed two projects, experimenting first with a spare room in the basement, eventually graduating to the family room.  The process was challenging, especially when you consider I work alone (and if you’ve ever applied 8’ by 4’ sheets of ½“ drywall to a ceiling, you understand).  The results were acceptable, not pristine, but not terrible.  If you choose to believe the critical few, my taping and sanding left a bit to be desired.  In the quest for some non-partisan feedback, I asked my good friend and real estate agent to come over and provide me with a professional opinion.  After carefully surveying my work, in an environment where I manipulated the lighting to my advantage, he flatly replied, “you’re going to want to sell this house one day, I’d recommend hiring someone next time.”

Point taken.

I guess handy, is in the eye of the beholder.

And although I ‘be-holden’ tools from time to time, some projects are better left to the professionals.   Laminate floors, hanging a door, anything to do with home theatre and stereo installation, I can handle.  No problem.

Building a shed from the ground up, rebuilding a 1967 Mustang, installing a new Bosch dishwasher, beyond my pay grade.

The infamous Red Green (Steve Smith), Canada’s greatest ‘do-it-your-selfer’ and purveyor of the handyman’s secret weapon – duct tape, once said, “If the women don’t find you handsome, they should at least find you handy”.

Well said Red.red_green_1

Arguably, I’m a bit of both.

Critics, hush.

And how about you?

Handsome, pretty, handy?

Until next time,

Keep your stick on the ice.

 

21 thoughts on “If the Women Don’t Find You Handsome

    • I held my own until my hair slowly started bidding me adieu in my thirties. You’d think I’d have compensated by increasing my ‘handy’ skills, but since I was already married, what the hell.
      Thanks Don, always appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I wish my husband was handy. If you ask him to do anything, he takes a month. And if he does it, he makes a hash of it. But refuses to call a professional in. It drives me crazy! 😡 Great post, Mike! 👍🏻

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Adele. We (men) have an aversion to admitting defeat (or admitting our laziness) if it means inviting strangers into our home for the purpose of repairs. My wife once threatened to have her father to come by to fix something. That didn’t go over well. Cheers!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Excellent post, Mike. Since we have been living in our current house, we have had nothing but issues that only professionals can fix.
    As for Red Green, for this gal, handy & handsome are not the important traits. Intelligence & a sense of humor rule in my book.

    Liked by 1 person

    • There’s few things you can’t fix with duct tape. I agree, a sense of humour is probably number one. Life gets too serious, we need partners who ‘get’ us, no matter how odd our outlook on life is. Cheers, thanks Susan!

      Liked by 1 person

  3. When I first married many years ago. We had a used washer machine. It broke! I, the man of the house, said I can fix this; “easy,” I said. Once I got it apart, I could not figure out how it went back together. The wife approached and asked, “how’s it going?” I replied, “just as I thought, It’s broken. We need a new one.” It ended up in the front yard one Tuesday night, which was trash night. Great post Mike!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such a good post as usual. Made me smile thinking of handy moments with the men in my life – my dad doesn’t even change a tap. He calls the person to do it saying that is why people choose different jobs and we take the money off the people who are professionals 😳; my brother changed the pipes in my house when I accidentally flooded the house, painted the house, wooden flooring and so on – don’t know where he gets it from; my partner fixes stuff acccording to his mood – he knows how to do most of things but sometimes he just can’t be bothered and tries to convince me a it’s a professional job 😂😂😂😂
    Needless to say all of the above are handsome men

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Handsome and handy, the perfect combination! We have to keep the professionals in business, so it’s good to share the work (even if it’s because we can’t be bothered). Thank you, as always, I appreciate your feedback.

    Like

  6. Are you eagerly anticipating this year’s new iPhones? Rumor has it that we will see three separate iPhone models in 2017 – two “s” models of the iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus and a third premium version that will have all the wow and whiz-bang innovations (we’ll refer to this premium model as the iPhone 8 for now).

    Liked by 1 person

    • Cheers, thank you for the nomination! I’ve received this one previously and posted on it, so please feel free to nominate another deserving blogger in my place. I’m heading to your site now to check out your latest post. Thanks again, much appreciated!

      Liked by 1 person

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